International Christian Church Quiet Times

Category: Relationships

Honor Your Mother, Honor God

Amy with our two children, Dimitry and Paisley. I’m grateful to teach our children to “Honor Your Mother!”

“Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you…” – Deut 5:16

Mother’s day is such a wonderful opportunity to honor your mother. We also should honor those in our lives who have mothered us. Mother’s day is bittersweet for some of us because our mothers have passed away or we are estranged from them. For those of us blessed to have our mother’s, we should reflect on this day with gratitude. Jesus teaches in the scriptures that those who “God’s will” are his “brother and sister and mother.” (Mark 3:35) The LORD also teaches that “everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life.” (Matthew 19:29)

In God’s kingdom, we can have a family that is deep, strong, and meets our needs. Mother’s day is a day to honor both our physical mothers and our “spiritual” mothers “in the faith.”

GOD COMFORTS LIKE A MOTHER

“As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you; and you will be comforted over Jerusalem.” (Isaiah 66:13) God is tender. When a woman is a good mother she’s an echo of this powerful part of our God. He’s “close to the brokenhearted” and “saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18) God “heals the brokenhearted” and he “binds up their wounds.” (Psalm 109:16) It is really hard to lose in life – or in anything, for that matter. It is harder at times to admit losing in the first place. Clearly, the reality that there is a great deal of pain in life not lost on the nature of God. God wants to comfort us like a mother comforts her child.

When I was a child, I remember how my mother stayed up comforting me during the night when I had a severe earache. I will never forget her tenderness. We learn from the scriptures here that our God comforts tenderly like a mother. (Isaiah 49:13-16)

WE NEED TO LOVE LIKE A MOTHER

“As apostles of Christ we could have been a burden to you, but we were gentle among you, like a mother caring for her little children. We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us. Surely you remember, brothers, our toil and hardship; we worked night and day in order not to be a burden to anyone while we preached the gospel of God to you.” (1 Thessalonians 2:6b-9)

Paul, Silas, and Timothy wrote this letter to the congregation in Thessalonica. (aka. Thessaloniki, Modern Greece) They give us more qualities of what is “motherly” in a biblical sense. This scripture gives us a powerful example of how we are to love each other in God’s family. Firstly, we are not to burden to those we are loving like a mother! A loving mother is always inclined to give, to nurture, and to sacrifice for the needs of her children. A mother works tirelessly on the everyday things we often take for granted. For example, I’ve seen my wife and my mother both do the laundry, grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, dishes, vacuuming…and a dozen other chores. In short, these women meet the needs around them and do so through “toil and hardship” and they often work “night and day.“

Additionally, this example demands that we be “gentle among” each other “like a mother caring for her little children.” It’s important in principle to note that the scripture specifies “little children.” Am I truly gentle like this in demeanor with my brothers and sisters in the church? Am I gentle like this with my spouse and children? When we see a little child there is a natural endearment and joy evoked by them. As we age, in life and in the faith, it gets harder to hold this view of one another. A felt need for respect replaces the real need for gentleness. However, the Word of God calls us to give both to those around us! (1 Peter 3:15)

Jesus teaches that such a “childlike” view is essential to inheriting the kingdom of God! “He called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said: “I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.” (Matthew 18:2-4)

HAVE A MOTHER’S VISION

In Matthew 20, James and John’s mother comes to Jesus and asks him boldly “Grant that one of these two sons of mine may sit at your right and the other at your left in your kingdom.” (Matthew 20:21) She had a spiritual vision for her sons. Many are concerned with a child’s success or even ensuring they are “doing what makes them happy.” We can easily miss giving children deep spiritual aspirations and inspiring them to have a real, powerful, and truth-based love for God. Compromise is the mother of dissension. We all must decide if obeying Jesus and living by his standards is more important than worldly success. Additionally, we must first decide to instill this conviction into ourselves, one another, and our children.

A loving mother’s vision is that her children will do their very best in life. God has this same kind of vision for his children. “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.” (Col 3:23-24) A good mother also makes great plans for caring for her children both practically and in the future. It sometimes takes tremendous planning to get to church early on Sunday mornings! This is a very Godly heart to have, as God himself is a planner! “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

HONOR YOUR MOTHER WITH OBEDIENCE

“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ‘Honor your father and mother’ – which is the first commandment with a promise— ‘that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.’” (Eph 6:1-3) We honor our mother in the clearest fashion when we obey her. Jesus honored Mary this way as a boy. Luke 2:51 crystallizes this, “Then he went down to Nazareth with them and was obedient to them. But his mother treasured all these things in her heart.”

As a man, Jesus obeyed his mother by miraculously producing wine for the wedding in Cana when she told him “They have no more wine.” (John 2:3) This request was not on Jesus’ time. He did not want to be involved. We can see this from Jesus’ reply, “‘Dear woman, why do you involve me?’ Jesus replied. ‘My time has not yet come.’” (John 2:4) Even still, the LORD honored his mother and met her request obediently! And the LORD did not hold back in his obedience! He created roughly 120-180 gallons of the best wine!

HONOR YOUR MOTHER, BUT NEVER OVER GOD

The only time we see Jesus disobeying his mother is when she, along with his brothers, try to stop him from doing God’s will. The account of this in Mark highlights how Jesus’ family heard about a huge crowd gathering at the house he was staying in and then “went to take charge of him” as they had concluded that Jesus was “out of his mind.” (Mark 3:21) When they arrive, they attempt to “take charge” of Jesus, sending someone into the crowd to tell Jesus, “Your mother and brothers are outside looking for you.” (Mark 3:32) Jesus responds with “Who are my mother and my brothers?” (Mark 3:33)

The Lord further clarifies exactly what he means while looking at those seated around him, saying “Here are my mother and my brothers! Whoever does God’s will is my brother and sister and mother.” (Mark 3:33-35) At this moment, Mary and Jesus’ brothers were not doing “God’s will” because they thought that Jesus was “out of his mind” and were trying to “take charge of him” while he was doing “God’s will!“

HONOR YOUR MOTHER, EVEN WHEN IT HURTS

This interaction in Mark 3:21,33-35 was clarifying and yet certainly painful for Jesus’ mother, Mary. However, it must be noted that Jesus honored his mother and called his most beloved disciple to honor his mother as his own while he suffered on the cross. Even when we are in pain, even when we are suffering, we must imitate Jesus in how he honored Mary while he was suffering the agony of the cross. “Near the cross of Jesus stood his mother, his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, ‘Dear woman, here is your son,’ and to the disciple, ‘Here is your mother.’ From that time on, this disciple took her into his home.” (John 19:25-27)

Jesus’ example of honoring his mother while in excruciating pain had an eternal impact on Mary (and his brothers)! Mary and Jesus’ brothers are among the faithful believers in Acts 1:14! “They all joined together constantly in prayer, along with the women and Mary the mother of Jesus, and with his brothers.” In the end, Mary became Jesus’ disciple as did his brothers. Jesus’ two brothers, James and Jude, wrote their respective scriptural epistles! Furthermore, Jesus’ brother James became the first leader of the central leadership council in Jerusalem. (Acts 15:15) When we truly love God more than anyone and yet love everyone – the impact God will bring is undeniable!

HONOR YOUR SPIRITUAL MOTHERS

The Word of God highlights the need we have for spiritual mothers. Paul writes in Rom 16:13, “Greet Rufus, chosen in the Lord, and his mother, who has been a mother to me, too.” Amy and I have had many dear spiritual mothers over the years. I’m so thankful for Elena McKean, Terese Untalan, Sharon Kirchner, Sonia Gonzalez, and many more who have been mothers to us. We have many memories, battles, and treasured moments with these women that have defined us! Their counsel and deep conversations during our times together healed and trained us. I thank God for these valiant women of God who have been a mother to Amy and I, too.

Let us take time in prayer to thank God for our physical and spiritual mothers! Let’s take time to reach out and remind them of the special place they have in our hearts!

Jeremy Ciaramella / Evangelist / phxicc.org

May 3, 2019
The Tongue And Its Power

“The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” – Proverbs 18:21

Prov 6:16-19
16 There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to him:
17 haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood,
18 a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil,
19 a false witness who pours out lies and a man who stirs up dissension among brothers.

The Tongue’s Actions Determine God’s Feeling About Us

One of the things I appreciate about my mother is that she had deep convictions about lying. I would not get in too much trouble if I was honest about the what I did and the parties I went to. If I lied though, mom would “lose it,” stiffen the penalties, and the punishment would often become double or more. This is because lying to someone who loved me so much was very hurtful to them, and offensive to her, and she understandably took it very personally. This disposition around lying stuck with me. Therefore, it has helped me understand God and personally connect to scriptures like this one.

Most importantly, God emotionally and intensely reacts to me if I use my tongue to lie. If I stir up people against each other or cause problems with my words God hates it. The Hebrew word “sane’” here does really mean “to hate (personally).” The Hebrew word translated as “detestable” here is “tow`ebah,” and means “a disgusting thing, an abomination.” God takes how I speak very personally. It’s because his love is so deep that he cares this much about what comes out of our mouths. Love always “rejoices with the truth” (1 Corinthians 13:6) and “God is love” (1 John 4:8), therefore this intense reaction from God makes sense.

Prov 6:23-24
23 For these commands are a lamp, this teaching is a light, and the corrections of discipline are the way to life, keeping you from the immoral woman, from the smooth tongue of the wayward wife.

The Tongue’s Powers Must Be Protected Against

The best defense we have against someone using their tongue to seduce or entice us to sin are the commands of God. Besides, if we spend time filling ourselves up with God’s word, when (not “if”, but when) we are enticed by a “smooth tongue,” we’ll be prepared. A “smooth tongue” is contrasted here with the commands of God. The “smooth tongue” being darkness and “leading down to the chambers of death” (Proverbs 7:27). The commands of God being “a lamp,” a “light,” and “the way to life.” Who am I going to listen to? Sometimes my own “self-talk” from my heart and thoughts is dark and would lead me to death, persuaded to sin, and disbelief. How can “take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ?” (2 Corinthians 10:5)

Consequently, the biblical way to keep myself pure and to guard my steps like this is to memorize the scriptures and having them “hidden…in my heart.” :

Ps 119:9-11
9 How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your word.
10 I seek you with all my heart; do not let me stray from your commands.
11 I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.

Prov 10:19-20
19 When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.
20 The tongue of the righteous is choice silver, but the heart of the wicked is of little value.

The Tongue Can Be Used Too Much

Clearly, we see all of us can choose to use our tongue to lie, to entice, and to seduce. Furthermore, we can use our tongue simply too much – by talking more than is necessary. The scriptures teach us “when words are many” there is some kind of sin we are covering for. Rationalizing, excuse-making, and deceiving all take more words to make work than the truth. The scriptures caution us “A gossip betrays a confidence, so avoid a man who talks too much.” (Proverbs 20:19) I need to make sure that I am not that man who uses words to manipulate and defend himself. I can often over-explain which comes from insecurity, which can come from a lack of faith, or a self-focus, or a troubled conscience. Finally, it’s important for me, and all of us, to identify whatever is causing us to use “many words” when this comes up.

The heart of the righteous weighs its answers, but the mouth of the wicked gushes evil. (Proverbs 15:28)

Similarly, this “economy of words” is something the ancient Spartans famously demonstrated in their culture. “Lakonia” is the name of the ancient region of Greece in the southeastern part of the Peloponnese peninsula. This region’s capital was (and still is) the city of Sparta. The word “laconic,” has come to mean both from this region and to thoughtfully use the least amount of words possible. Such was the practice of the ancient Spartans. Another thing I find is that the truth takes much fewer words and makes for a lighter heart and clearer head. Most importantly, it also brings me into fellowship and closeness with those around me and gets me in touch with grace – both given and received. (1 John 1:5-10)

Prov 17:28
28 Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue.

The Tongue Speaks What The Heart Is Full Of

What will I use my tongue for today? How will it affect God’s view of me? How will it affect those around me? What does it indicate about my own heart? Jesus said, “for the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.” (Luke 6:45) What will I fill my heart with today and what impact will it have? What will it bring forth from my heart – wisdom or perversity, a piercing sword or healing? Consequently, will it help me endure forever…or only last a moment?

Prov 10:31
31 The mouth of the righteous brings forth wisdom, but a perverse tongue will be cut out.
Prov 12:18-19
18 Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.
Prov 11:12,19
12 A man who lacks judgment derides his neighbor, but a man of understanding holds his tongue.
19 Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue lasts only a moment.

Dare I speak the truth from my heart, good or bad? Even more, will I get in touch with where I actually am in my relationships – with God and with others? Or will I decide to “gush folly” and avoid the issues? There is no hope in a deceitful tongue. Additionally, there is no healing in a deceitful tongue, only crushing my spirit – and others!

Prov 15:2
2 The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouth of the fool gushes folly.
Prov 15:4
4 The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.
Prov 17:20
20 A man of perverse heart does not prosper; he whose tongue is deceitful falls into trouble.

The Tongue That Deceives

A deceitful tongue is the result of a perverse heart. When I’ve made the conscious decision to lie, it was always to get ahead. Often, I wanted something for nothing and acted selfishly.

As a result, when I was a teenager I stole some chips capriciously from the storefront display at the corner convenience store. I lied when I got caught, saying that I thought the friend with me had paid for the chips when he went to the counter. I recall another moment when lied to my jazz guitar teacher, saying I was so broke I could not afford gas that week and could I pay him later. He shrewdly exposed me and I’ll never forget the look on his face when he realized I was trying to take him for 20$. That was the price deceit and selfishness put on that friendship. Please forgive me, Eric. Certainly, even if I would have made a fortune, it would never be worth it! “A fortune made by a lying tongue is a fleeting vapor and a deadly snare.” (Proverbs 21:6)

Prov 26:28
28 A lying tongue hates those it hurts, and a flattering mouth works ruin.
Prov 16:1
To man belong the plans of the heart, but from the Lord comes the reply of the tongue.
Prov 17:4
A wicked man listens to evil lips; a liar pays attention to a malicious tongue

The Tongue That Replies Well

Furthermore, God can guide me to reply well. I can pray to him for help, for guidance, for an apt and wise reply. I can listen to his word, his “lips,” and avoid my own self-deception. Sometimes the most malicious tongue is my own, tearing me down in my head, and it is wicked to listen to that inner voice of self-doubt in my heart! This is a choice I make! I must instead decide to listen to the Lips of God, the Word of God, and put its truth in my head and heart! “I reach out for your commands, which I love, that I may meditate on your decrees.” (Psalm 119:48) “Oh, how I love your law! I meditate on it all day long.” (Psalm 119:97) What will I meditate on? Whose lips shall I listen to?

My son, if you accept my words and store up my commands within you, turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding, and if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God. (Prov 2:1-5)

Prov 25:15
15 Through patience a ruler can be persuaded, and a gentle tongue can break a bone.
Prov 25:23
23 As a north wind brings rain, so a sly tongue brings angry looks.
Prov 28:23
3 He who rebukes a man will in the end gain more favor than he who has a flattering tongue.
Prov 31:26
26 She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

The Tongue Can Heal, Endure, And Wisely Instruct

The tongue can be used for many things. It has all manner of incredible power in our lives and the lives of those around us. The tongue can be deceitful, persuasive, sly, flattering, smoothly seductive, and in its gentleness, even break bones! Incidentally, according to the bible, it is not sticks and stones that break bones – it is the words spoken by a gentle tongue! The tongue can commend knowledge and bring healing! It can help one endure forever and bring forth faithful instruction and very the wisdom of God!

The scriptures are true –
“The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” (Proverbs 18:21)

Finally, may all of us love the tongue, and “[speak] the truth in love,” so “we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.” (Ephesians 4:15) To God be the Gory!

Jeremy Ciaramella
Evangelist,
Phoenix International Christian Church

January 29, 2019
The Fear of The LORD vs. The Fear of Correction
The Fear of The LORD is the beginning of knowledge; but fools despise wisdom and discipline – Proverbs 1:7

“The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge; but fools despise wisdom and discipline.” – Proverbs 1:7

If I don’t have the fear of the LORD, I will not understand anything about knowing God, I won’t even know where to start. If I don’t have the fear of the LORD, I will despise wisdom. What does that mean, “wisdom?” How does one get “wisdom?”
- Proverbs 1:2, the proverbs help us have wisdom. Do I want to read them?
- Prov 2:6, the LORD gives wisdom. Do I want to ask him? James 1:5-8
- Prov 3:13, wisdom is something you actually have to look for, you have to want to look for it.
- Prov 4:5, wisdom is begotten by obeying God’s word. Do I want to obey God’s word?
- Prov 10:13, the lips of the discerning have wisdom. Do I want to listen? Do I want discipling? Do I delight when someone helps me be with my own lacking in wisdom?
If you think you are a whiz at everything, then you are taking the “wis” out of wisdom. – Jeremy Ciaramella

Prov 11:2, When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.

Being humble is what will bring wisdom. That’s a sign I have “The Fear the LORD!”

Do I hate admitting I am wrong? Do I resent it when someone points out a fault, a mistake, or a sin? Do I willingly and eagerly confess my sins? Do I ask people advice about how I am doing things? Do I seek their advice or do I gush my solution, my perspective, my experiences, my successes, and my opinions? Do I avoid or dislike apologizing? Is it hard for me to apologize? Do I have to wrap their fault into the apology? “I’m sorry I did that, but if you have not first done what you’d done, I would have never done that to you…” All of these things are pride. All of these things are disgraceful. All of these things show I despise wisdom, because I am not loving humility. Humility is Christ’s most powerful attribute, it is what led him to the cross for our sake – Phil 2:5-8. If I don’t have humility, it’s because I don’t have the fear of the LORD. I’ll not start learning, gaining knowledge, until I have humility.

Prov 13:10 “Pride only breeds quarrels, but wisdom is found in those to take advice.”

How can I know I’m pursuing humility?

Do I seek advice? Do I get advice intending to actually follow it? I appreciate disciples who take notes and such when they are getting advice/discipling. It shows they actually want to recall what they are learning and apply it. Do I do that? If I don’t take advice, it’s a sign that I am quarrelsome and prideful. Am I more eager to give advice to my leaders than to take their advice? Do I undermine their role because I’m so bent on implying and applying my opinion? Do I put people on eggshells because I often remind them of the shortcomings in them that I see? Do I talk more than I listen? Talking too much, talking loudly, talking over people, interrupting people…all of these things cause quarreling, because they are prideful actions. These actions demonstrate a lack of wisdom and thus a lack of “The Fear of the LORD.”

Prov 14:8 “The wisdom of the prudent is to give thought to their ways, but the folly of fools is deception.”
- Do I understand that a lack of vulnerability is the same as deception? “To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken.” – CS Lewis, “The Four Loves”
- This is because mistrust the same as being unloving. We fear the error of man more than we seek the divine nature of God’s love.
- If I don’t have “The Fear of the LORD,” I will despise discipline. I’ll resent correction. I’ll fear admonishment, rebuke, and correction. I’ll resent those that deliver it, and rationalize avoiding them and opening up to them. I’ll not accept rebuke and instead will seek to dismantle it and merely endure it instead of be changed from it.
Wisdom pours her heart out to those who accept her rebuke. (Prov 1:23-25)
- When I spurn a rebuke, I prove that I am scheming, wayward, and prepped for destruction…(Prov 1:29-33)
- Do I hate it when someone who corrects me or do I love it/them? If I’ve stopped trusting them, then I’ve stopped loving them, and that is hateful. (1 Cor 13:4-8, “love always trusts.“) Prov 9:8.
- Do I have a biblical understanding of the value and power of someone showing “sharp disapproval or criticism” because of my “behavior or actions?” (Definition of rebuke = “Express sharp disapproval or criticism of (someone) because of their actions or behavior.“)
- Do I understand the impact of listening to a rebuke?
- It makes me a wise son, Prov 13:1
  
  It makes me at home among the wise, Prov 15:31
  
  It should impress me if I am a man of discernment, Prov 17:10
  
  It will cause me to gain knowledge if I am discerning, Prov 19:25
  
  It will give me spiritual wealth (golden earring), Prov 25:12
  
  It shows me that someone openly loves me, Prov 27:5
- Older men you are not to rebuke harshly! You are still rebuke to them, just not harshly! Exhort them as fathers! 1 Tim 5:1
- We are to both rebuke AND encourage! And do both with GREAT patience and CAREFUL instruction. Am I CAREFUL in my rebuke AND in my encouragement? 2 Tim 4:2
- Titus 1:10-14 this kind of heart must be rebuked SHARPLY. A SHARP “sharp disapproval or criticism” is for these people because they are (a) rebellious & deceiving others in Titus 1:10, (b) ruining whole households with their teaching(s), and (c) they are liars, brutes, and lazy gluttons. The solution to people acting like this is a SHARP rebuke – with goal being that they would be sound in the faith and not pay any attention to false doctrines and myths. We cannot be “sound in the faith” if we do no have “The Fear of The LORD!”
- A rebuke from the evangelist, the church overseer, is done with all authority! The same guideline is given for encouragement. Titus 2:15. No one in the church is allowed to despise the church leader. In principle then, no one should despise their house church leader or their bible talk leader. No one in the group God assigned gave you to lead is permitted to despise you according to this scripture. And it’s up to you to make sure that is the case! It is our goal that all our dear brothers and sisters would have “The Fear of The LORD!”
Jesus made a whip out of chords..

Jesus rebuked those he loved and disciplined. (cf. Rev 3:19). Am I being like Jesus and rebuking those that I love? (cf. Proverbs 27:5) Am I striving for the FEAR of the LORD and helping those around me to do the same? Or is there a fear (or hatred) of correction? (cf. Proverbs 12:1)

Jeremy Ciaramella
June 13, 2015
Covering Over And Understanding An Offense
“An offended brother is more unyielding than a fortified city, and disputes are like the barred gates of a citadel.” – Proverbs 18:19

Proverbs 18:19
19 An offended brother is more unyielding than a fortified city, and disputes are like the barred gates of a citadel.
- This is the key scripture. When someone is offended – they are unyielding. The plant a flag. They “stand their ground” on their thoughts, perceptions, and opinions.
- Am I offended? Are they offended? Am I willing to listen? Are they?
The question is then, what do the scriptures teach about dealing with someone who is offended?

Proverbs 17:9
9 He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.
- We must repent of repeating the matter(s) between the those that are offended and ourselves – especially within other relationships. This is like keeping a record of wrongs! What am I promoting with my speech? With how I act towards others? What am I saying about them?
- It is not healthy for other disciples to get polluted with our own evil suspicions (due to the offense). We cannot keep repeating to others our negative view, our view of each other, of leaders, of “the church” when we are in a state of mind of being offended.
- This “repeating” to others leads to us “separating close friends.” We must be careful and loving and refuse to repeat the matter. This kind of action is what builds gossip and dissension in the family of God.
- The fact is that we need not to repeat the offenses that we sense – perceived or very real – except to people who can actually help us with our heart and our sin.
Proverbs 19:10
11 A man’s wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense.
- This is where we need to get. We have to see our LACK of a “THICK SKIN” as UNWISE AND UNLOVING – because the only reason someone will lack patience is because they lack love.
- Why does the scripture say, “It is to his glory?” Because patience wins souls. When you overlook offenses – it’s because you love someone deeply. (1 Peter 4:8) That kind of mercy is at the heart of wisdom. This is the kind of wisdom that we need to go after. This is the kind of wisdom God wants us to have.
About the Father – how does he deal with us and our offenses? If we am going to follow Jesus – then we have to be like the Father. That is what we need to go after – be like Jesus, be like the Father.

Isaiah 43
22 “Yet you have not called upon me, O Jacob,
you have not wearied yourselves for me, O Israel.
23 You have not brought me sheep for burnt offerings,
nor honored me with your sacrifices.
I have not burdened you with grain offerings
nor wearied you with demands for incense.
24 You have not bought any fragrant calamus for me,
or lavished on me the fat of your sacrifices.
But you have burdened me with your sins
and wearied me with your offenses.

25 “I, even I, am he who blots out
your transgressions, for my own sake,
and remembers your sins no more.

This is really deep. God is saying to his people that they have not called on him – or wearied themselves for him. The intent here is not “weary” like – Galatians 6 weary – but wore out because you’ve worked so hard for the LORD. He’s getting weary – worn out and burdened buy their sins. GOD is right and just in that – we are NOT God. But this tells me that he totally can relate to me. When you offend God by sinning against him, even he can get burdened and wearied – even though he is the one who blots out and forgets all our sins. God understands.

Isaiah 44:21-23
21 “Remember these things, O Jacob,
for you are my servant, O Israel.
I have made you, you are my servant;
O Israel, I will not forget you.
22 I have swept away your offenses like a cloud,
your sins like the morning mist.

Return to me,
for I have redeemed you.”
23 Sing for joy, O heavens, for the LORD has done this;
shout aloud, O earth beneath.
Burst into song, you mountains,
you forests and all your trees,
for the LORD has redeemed Jacob,
he displays his glory in Israel.

It is to God’s glory that he redeemed his people. That he forgives all their offenses like a cloud and then calls them to return to him. God forgives and then calls others to return to him. This is what he does for us. We need to do this for one another. Then, we will bring glory to our God and be like him in our relationships!

Suggest Prayer Focus
- When I am offended, help me to love deeply and cover over it to promote love.
- May conflict and offenses when they come be about you and your honor – as well as the salvation of other people – instead of how offended I feel personally.
- When I admonish, rebuke, encourage, teach and preach – I pray your spirit guides me and gives me the words that will express your heart the clearest, inspiring repentance and obedience in those around me.
- Help me remember how do you handle the burden of my sins and the offenses I have committed that weary you? You covered them over with the very blood of your son Jesus for me! May I reject the heart of the unmerciful servant and be like you!
Jeremy Ciaramella
September 16, 2014