Proverbs 18:19
19 An offended brother is more unyielding than a fortified city, and disputes are like the barred gates of a citadel.
- This is the key scripture. When someone is offended – they are unyielding. The plant a flag. They “stand their ground” on their thoughts, perceptions, and opinions.
- Am I offended? Are they offended? Am I willing to listen? Are they?
The question is then, what do the scriptures teach about dealing with someone who is offended?
Proverbs 17:9
9 He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.
- We must repent of repeating the matter(s) between the those that are offended and ourselves – especially within other relationships. This is like keeping a record of wrongs! What am I promoting with my speech? With how I act towards others? What am I saying about them?
- It is not healthy for other disciples to get polluted with our own evil suspicions (due to the offense). We cannot keep repeating to others our negative view, our view of each other, of leaders, of “the church” when we are in a state of mind of being offended.
- This “repeating” to others leads to us “separating close friends.” We must be careful and loving and refuse to repeat the matter. This kind of action is what builds gossip and dissension in the family of God.
- The fact is that we need not to repeat the offenses that we sense – perceived or very real – except to people who can actually help us with our heart and our sin.
Proverbs 19:10
11 A man’s wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense.
- This is where we need to get. We have to see our LACK of a “THICK SKIN” as UNWISE AND UNLOVING – because the only reason someone will lack patience is because they lack love.
- Why does the scripture say, “It is to his glory?” Because patience wins souls. When you overlook offenses – it’s because you love someone deeply. (1 Peter 4:8) That kind of mercy is at the heart of wisdom. This is the kind of wisdom that we need to go after. This is the kind of wisdom God wants us to have.
About the Father – how does he deal with us and our offenses? If we am going to follow Jesus – then we have to be like the Father. That is what we need to go after – be like Jesus, be like the Father.
Isaiah 43
22 “Yet you have not called upon me, O Jacob,
you have not wearied yourselves for me, O Israel.
23 You have not brought me sheep for burnt offerings,
nor honored me with your sacrifices.
I have not burdened you with grain offerings
nor wearied you with demands for incense.
24 You have not bought any fragrant calamus for me,
or lavished on me the fat of your sacrifices.
But you have burdened me with your sins
and wearied me with your offenses.
25 “I, even I, am he who blots out
your transgressions, for my own sake,
and remembers your sins no more.
This is really deep. God is saying to his people that they have not called on him – or wearied themselves for him. The intent here is not “weary” like – Galatians 6 weary – but wore out because you’ve worked so hard for the LORD. He’s getting weary – worn out and burdened buy their sins. GOD is right and just in that – we are NOT God. But this tells me that he totally can relate to me. When you offend God by sinning against him, even he can get burdened and wearied – even though he is the one who blots out and forgets all our sins. God understands.
Isaiah 44:21-23
21 “Remember these things, O Jacob,
for you are my servant, O Israel.
I have made you, you are my servant;
O Israel, I will not forget you.
22 I have swept away your offenses like a cloud,
your sins like the morning mist.
Return to me,
for I have redeemed you.”
23 Sing for joy, O heavens, for the LORD has done this;
shout aloud, O earth beneath.
Burst into song, you mountains,
you forests and all your trees,
for the LORD has redeemed Jacob,
he displays his glory in Israel.
It is to God’s glory that he redeemed his people. That he forgives all their offenses like a cloud and then calls them to return to him. God forgives and then calls others to return to him. This is what he does for us. We need to do this for one another. Then, we will bring glory to our God and be like him in our relationships!
Suggest Prayer Focus
- When I am offended, help me to love deeply and cover over it to promote love.
- May conflict and offenses when they come be about you and your honor – as well as the salvation of other people – instead of how offended I feel personally.
- When I admonish, rebuke, encourage, teach and preach – I pray your spirit guides me and gives me the words that will express your heart the clearest, inspiring repentance and obedience in those around me.
- Help me remember how do you handle the burden of my sins and the offenses I have committed that weary you? You covered them over with the very blood of your son Jesus for me! May I reject the heart of the unmerciful servant and be like you!
